It could have started many years ago. During the first intimacy with your man, you imitated an orgasm, so as not to hurt his feelings or look like a log in bed. The next time you pretended, because again something didn’t work. And it started. Or all your life you did not experience orgasms during intimacy, but having supported your imagination with films for adults, you understood how to behave correctly. Or before the birth of the child everything was fine, but after all the sensations had disappeared somewhere, and to save the marriage, you decided not to say anything. The situations may be different, but the essence is the same – your partner thinks that everything is in order and that nothing needs to be changed. So, everything will remain so. Why is it time to stop (and how to do it) – in our material.
What statistics say
Of the many studies it is known that most women do not have an orgasm during normal intercourse without additional stimulation. Most are 8 out of 10 women. And even with additional stimulation, not everybody comes to the finish line, but only about 52%. Something in the way. And makes you pretend. Almost 70% of women resort to orgasm performances with moans, stronger hugs, scratches, orgasmic twists and other tricks.
The fact that women can pretend, some men have already begun to suspect. The fact that men can pretend, I am sure, women are unlikely to guess. And in vain. Men also learned to cheat in bed and imitate orgasm. There are enough loud moans, several convulsive gestures and urgently escape to the bathroom with your condom. Not every woman will check its fullness. Those simulators recruited already about 28%. Yes, they also get tired, they also get in the way, they don’t like the behavior of their partner, who is sure that she’s already ecstatic in the starfish’s posture. But now we talk about women.
Why not pretend to orgasm
Describing sex, many publications are trying to convince women that if there is no orgasm, then this is not sex, but it is not clear what. And then a list is attached, in which the guilty is female squeezing, inability to work with one’s own body, male self-conceit, which grew on fertile soil. After all, his previous partners were all delighted with him (pretenders), so the man is firmly convinced that the problem is not in him. And, of course, the desire to please the partner, so as not to upset or stop his search for the cherished orgasmic button in your body. In any case, “ineffectual” sexual intercourse will be recorded in failure, and then imitation of orgasm begins.
1. You deprive yourself of pleasure
Sex is not only the culmination. It is also an exchange of emotions. A simulation of pleasure blocks the onset of a natural orgasm, since you are not focused on your feelings, but on the image of violent activity. Instead of this theater, you could take the time to surrender to the flow of emotions and for the beginning just to get pleasure from intimacy, touching of bodies, kisses, energy between you.
In a woman, an orgasm is born not only in the body, but also in the brain. And if you do not focus on the process, the orgasm will not come, because the brain is engaged in a completely different matter.
2. You become an irritable bitch.
When there is no orgasm, there is no saturation and satisfaction, which means that the likelihood of quarrels and the expression of displeasure on other, sometimes completely ridiculous reasons, increases. Orgasmic girls will not once again grumble in queues or seize stress chocolate, as they have a natural and more useful way to get joy hormones.
3. You go against nature
In addition, only women have an organ whose anatomical task is to give pleasure. This is the clitoris. He no longer has any functions. And here even nature itself seems to hint that an orgasm for women is a necessary thing. And if you do not deal with this issue, it will be tantamount to trying to crawl, while there are legs that allow you to walk.
4. You deprive your partner of development
Representing an orgasm for the sake of a partner who is sure that all his movements bring you to the peak of pleasure, you leave him at the same level of sexual development. He will not have an incentive to look for something new, next time he will do exactly the same way. And again you will be left with nothing. Only he will be deceived, and you – not satisfied.
Therefore, stop imitating and go in search of your own pleasure.
Where to begin?
The most important thing is to learn not to shift all the blame for not having an orgasm only on your man. After all, two people participate in sex. And even the most attentive and delicate partner will not be able to give you full-fledged pleasure if you yourself do not know your body and your secret erogenous zones and points. Therefore, in any case, devote time to yourself, find information about female erogenous zones, understand what accelerates and what inhibits your arousal. This will help you solo sex. Masturbating, women not only enjoy themselves, they also recognize themselves. In this process there is nothing that can interfere, there is no emotional barrier and constraint. You can be yourself, do whatever you want. And do not need to put a lot of effort to get an orgasm. Examine your clitoris, vagina, stimulation methods and your own reactions. And then you can better tell your partner what exactly can be created with you.Sometimes even this is enough for orgasms to become your constant companions.
Talk about it
Here it is very important not to chop off the shoulder and not to say “you know, in fact, I pretended to be all this time. I don’t have an orgasm with you. ” A man will not be able to forgive such an offense. Yes, and a great desire to help you achieve it he will not. Therefore, act diplomatically, and do not hit in the forehead.For example, you can start a conversation about your sex life, ask what it would be interesting to try or suggest to go on an incredible erotic adventure in search of a new orgasm and start doing something that you have never done before. If everything has always happened quickly, offer slow sex or try to blindfold, use unusual accessories (fur, beads or sex toys). It makes sense to start a frank conversation about the absence of pleasure after trusting intimate dialogues have already been built.
If you can not cope on your own, you can always turn to a sexologist, who will tell you exactly what tricks are right for you. The main thing – do not leave everything as it is now and continue your erotic development.