The first date can happen at any age, especially with current divorce statistics. But if experience also arises with age, then on the first date even the most experienced sometimes begin to shy. Especially if you’ve been married for 10 years and forgot the old rules, but don’t know the new ones.
For one date you will visit several places at once. For example, three or four cafes or a museum, a movie and a cafe. Pickupers believe that a woman subconsciously perceives this as three or four dates, and immediately agrees to sex. After all, it is “time” to get to know each other better.
Pickups say a lot of compliments. Too many, too many all kinds of kind words. That the woman instantly melted and fell in love. Yes, everyone wants to hear that she is the most-most. But do not lose common sense and do not consider that this man is the same, your one and only, who will finally appreciate you and your rich inner world.
From the very first minutes of your meeting, he will talk about a bright and happy future together. Pikaper knows that any woman always makes plans right away. Therefore, he will say what you want to hear: about a trip to Bali, a house on the beach, your children frolic in the sand with a dog. However, he will easily remake this scenario during the conversation. Suddenly you dream of seeing the fjords of Norway and moving to live in Icelandic Akureyri, which is 40 kilometers from the Arctic Circle. He will support you in this and swear oathly that he is ready to be anywhere in the world, if only with you. If only forever.
Such conversations may lead to the idea that this person is your soulmate. You are just made for each other. Drive away this judgment. The pickup has one thing in mind: as soon as possible to fall in love with you, drag you to bed, check the list of your victories and throw your victim with a broken heart.
What to do?
Do not rush into the pool with your head. Do not tell on your first date about a very personal and secret. Do not succumb to the sweet dope of his compliments. Watch your counterpart with a cold head. Cancel or reschedule your second date – pickers do not like this. After such a simple action on your part, he may simply disappear from your life.
Such a type on a first date does not show his true face. He will be polite and courteous with you. But watch carefully how he treats others. For example, with waiters in a cafe, a cashier in a movie theater, people around you.
Singer Bobby Brown – the future husband of the famous singer Whitney Houston – charmed her on a first date. He was kind, sweet and gallant with her. This did not stop him from immediately fighting with the waiter, and then with the parking man. Whitney fell in love. Then it seemed to her that Bobby was strong, courageous and brutal. Their marriage was torture for the singer, Brown constantly beat her, and the child got it. Pay attention to what the man says about other women. Anyway, about people. If you speak disrespectfully of them, do not hope that everything will be different with you for sure.
What to do?
Watch. Just like a pickup truck. A masked sadist will not last long. Aggression requires an exit, it should or wants to impress you, so for now it will cling to and behave rudely with strangers. The key word here is bye. However, there are female victims who deliberately seek relationships with the aggressor. It is up to you to stay with such a person further or to break off relations. If you choose the last option, do not pull. Leave after the first meeting.
His life situations and stories cannot leave anyone indifferent. “I even thought about suicide, but then I met you.” “My wife / mom / aunt has an incurable disease, I can’t leave her, she will die / disappear without me.” “The bandits attacked me, took away the whole business, now they threaten me with prison and death if I do not repay them the debt of 6 million 400 thousand 32 rubles and 15 kopecks. And the debt is growing every day, they put me on the counter. I don’t even know what to do. They will kill me. ”
He will tell stories of compassion and pity. To ask for a loan for the operation of my beloved aunt or to buy food for homeless animals, because he is the guardian of this shelter, lost his credit card or forgot it at a gas station this morning.
What to do?
To give or not to give him money is your right. But if you decide to open a wallet, say goodbye to this money. He will not give them back. So be careful. And remember: you can never change a man. He will not stop asking for money in debt, to be an alpha, a bummer or a villain.
Yes, and it happens. He made a date and was late for it. Do not rush to be offended. If he called and warned about being late, and you are already there, it’s okay. For the first time, you can forgive. Worse, if there was no call, and he did not come on a date. But there may be exceptions. Everything happens in life. He could lose the phone (or he broke, but all the contacts are in it), the SIM card was replaced, had an accident, something else happened.
What to do?
If a man called and warned that he was late, reduce the time for a date. It will be a great educational moment. With a smile, tell him that now you do not have much time.
If you arrived, he calls, asks for forgiveness, makes excuses: could not, forgot to call, etc., give him another chance. Do not say anything. Just calmly ask why he has not warned you before. If the answer rehabilitates him, pay attention to how he will apologize. Will he show respect for you? This is very important at this point.
But if the man did not warn, he was late, explained the reason for his delay, but did not apologize, be on the alert. A person does not value you or your personal time. His lateness for him is the norm of life. Do you need such a partner? It is up to you to decide.
Drinking a glass of wine on a first date is very romantic. But if your boyfriend does not know the norm, it is better to immediately run away from him. However, you can stay and watch how he is when drunk – aggressive or quiet, silent or a terrible liar. But it also happens that a man comes on a first date already tipsy. He can drink before a meeting, because he is very shy, and to be at least a little relaxed, he allows himself 50 grams for courage. Or he can drink because he’s an alcoholic. And he drinks in any situation that is understandable and incomprehensible to him, with or without.
What to do?
Remember that according to police statistics, three out of four rapes are committed while intoxicated. It’s hard to know that for your sake a man will not stop drinking. Do not entertain yourself with hopes that alcoholism can be cured and you can defeat it together. It’s better to leave right away so that you don’t regret the time spent.